Hello again! This post was initially meant to come out in January - it’s now April… Oh well, better late than never! I actually found it difficult to write this post. I’ve just got so much I want to say about IBS and whenever I thought the post was almost ready, another 10 things would pop into my head.
It has now been over 2 years since I received my IBS diagnosis and it’s been a journey, to say the least. In a way, lockdown was great for my IBS as it meant that, other than work in 2020, I didn’t have to leave the house. And, I didn’t have to go to class. If you’ve read some of my other posts, you might already know that going to class is a huge struggle for me, due to my IBS-related anxiety.
But I am happy to say that this semester, I was able to attend most of my in-person seminars! Like, actually sitting in a classroom with other human beings for an hour and a half! Now, at the end of the semester, I can actually say that I’ve been able to even enjoy some of my classes. If you had told me that 2 years ago, when I was having anxiety attacks every time I had to go to class, I would have not believed you.
I know that not all of my readers have IBS or similar conditions (though 1 in 5 people actually do), but I hope that this post will be interesting nonetheless. You might have a friend, family member, colleague or partner who suffers from it - or you might have IBS yourself (in which case, sending you a massive virtual hug). Either way, I hope this post will shine some light on how debilitating this condition can be - and help any IBS-sufferers feel like they are not alone in this. It’s a bit of a longer read, so grab yourself a cuppa and enjoy.
Eating out
‘Do you have any allergies or intolerances?’ - the question I dread most when going to a restaurant. Do I say yes and mention a list of very inconvenient ingredients that are probably in every dish and be a pain? Or do I just smile and lie, pretending like I don’t have an irritable (and irritated) gut?
Food is one of the main triggers for IBS, so being in an environment where you cannot control or know what is in the food can be incredibly stressful. The problem with IBS is that everyone will have different dietary needs and what one person might be fine eating could cause someone else problems. While there are some foods that trigger a lot of people (gluten, onion, garlic…), most are personal to each individual. Some other foods can be considered ‘safe’, but only in a set quantity.
All that to say: it can be difficult to feel confident when eating at a restaurant or friend’s house, without seeming like you’re ruining everyone’s night (more on that later). Preparation can help ease your mind, so look up restaurant menus before going out or ask your friend what they are making (and bring an alternate meal for yourself if needed). I try to focus on my main trigger foods when I’m eating out to both ease my anxiety and not limit my options too much.
Some restaurants are amazing when it comes to catering to people with intolerances. I recently found a restaurant in Glasgow that offers a low-FODMAP menu (I KNOW!!!) and I’ve had pleasant experiences in other places too. I remember, soon after my diagnosis, going to Dishoom (an amazing Indian restaurant in the UK) with some friends and telling the waitress I was intolerant to onions. In case you are wondering, yes, onions are in almost every dish, especially in foods like curry. The waitress said she would check with the chef and came back 10 minutes later, having gone through every single menu item and circled everything that didn’t contain onion - and it was a big menu. She never once made me feel like I was being a pain and I don’t think she realises just how much that meant.
Don’t be afraid to tell people that there are certain foods you can’t have. Whether it’s at a restaurant or your family’s house, you don’t deserve to suffer a flare-up just to make other people’s lives ‘easier’. One of my friends has altered recipes loads whenever I’ve eaten with her, leaving out onions without even asking me about it. She knows I can’t have them so she doesn’t add them. It’s as simple as that. Restaurants are often able to offer you some alternatives that suit your dietary requirements, so don’t be afraid to call them ahead of your visit, check their website or ask for a list of allergens/ingredients.
Cooking meals at home
As you can tell from the length of the previous point, there is a lot to say about food in relation to IBS. It’s important to know what exactly is in your food, which usually means having to make everything yourself, from scratch. But that requires a lot of time, effort and money. It’s also difficult to find recipes that suit all your needs and that you actually enjoy. Trying out new recipes can also be scary because you don’t know how your body might react to them.
I like to treat myself to new things (or foods I know aren’t the best for my IBS) when I know I have a ‘safe’ day the following morning: a day mostly at home or in an environment with minimum stress and easy access to a bathroom. That way, I can still enjoy foods that might not be the best for me or try out new recipes, and I don’t feel as restricted.
With that being said, food isn’t the only trigger so sometimes, even though you’ve eaten really well and avoided your trigger foods, you’ll still flare up - more on that later. It’s really frustrating when it happens but there is no point beating yourself up over it. Just take extra care of your body, drink lots of peppermint tea and give yourself a break. IBS can be a bitch.
Clothes
If there is one positive thing I have learned and implemented into my life because of my IBS, it’s a more comfortable wardrobe - especially when I am bloated. I get bloated pretty much every day, so having clothes that restrict me is uncomfortable, both physically and mentally, making me feel self-conscious about my visible bloat. The phrase ‘your clothes are meant to fit your body, not the other way around’ rings very true. Why force yourself to wear clothes that you are uncomfortable in?!
Instead, buy clothes that actually fit you, that stretch in the right places and that make you feel comfortable. I’ve never enjoyed wearing jeans and usually wore super stretchy denim or jeggings, but I genuinely cannot remember the last time I even wore one of those. For months (years?) now, I have been wearing stretchy trousers or leggings - there are chic stretchy trousers you can wear in the office too, like these (the secret is elasticated waistbands). And my body has never been happier. Dresses are also great. If you want to wear tights underneath, try to find tights that are more comfortable such as Snag Tights.
Managing symptoms daily
Having IBS means you will likely have symptoms every day. Some days you won’t even notice them and on others you’ll feel pretty shit - especially if you’re having a flare-up. It’s important to find ways to manage your symptoms: drinking peppermint tea, taking bloat-easing tablets, using hot water bottles, practicing gut-friendly yoga, going for walks, managing stress, etc.
In order to know how to deal with your symptoms, you need to figure out what triggers your IBS. While I had a lot to say about food, it’s actually only one of the many triggers. Poor sleep and stress can also cause your stomach to be unhappy - especially stress. I won’t bore you with too much science, but basically, if you are stressed, your body triggers your sympathetic nervous system (your fight or flight response) which disrupts your digestion. This is also what happens if you become anxious about a flare-up - the stress and anxiety cause your symptoms to get worse, which in turn makes your anxiety worse and so on, in a vicious cycle. If you want to know more about this, look into the Gut-Brain Axis.
As I mentioned previously, I get bloated pretty much every day. Most of us do, it’s completely normal. But oftentimes, I will bloat a lot - like, A LOT. I remember being home over Christmas and not worrying too much about what I was eating because I was back home and it was Christmas - I just wanted to eat whatever I wanted and enjoy it. Needless to say, I was very bloated most days. I remember showing my brother one day, joking that I could easily pass as at least 6 months pregnant. And he was absolutely horrified. I think that’s when he realised just how physically uncomfortable and even painful IBS could be. Every so often, I’ll get very bloated and wonder if people actually think I’m pregnant if they look at me. I’m almost tempted to rub my tummy as I walk around, just to really sell it, lol.
IBS comes with a variety of symptoms. Some of the ones I get are bloating and gas, constipation or diarrhoea, cramps, fatigue, nausea and there are many more symptoms that people can get. Figure out what helps you handle your symptoms and implement those things into your life. This could be peppermint oil capsules, peppermint tea, heating pads/BeYou patches, whatever helps you.
Dealing with flare-ups
Flare-ups are a nightmare. They have numerous times forced me to go home or miss a day of uni or work. Flare-ups will look different for everyone. I tend to get really bad bloating, painful cramps, intense fatigue and painful (lack of) bowel movements. It also impacts me mentally, thinking about what I did wrong to be in this position, feeling sorry for myself and generally just feeling pretty shit.
If you are having a flare-up, the most important thing is to approach it with love rather than hate. What I mean by that is, your body is clearly in stress mode already, so what good is being hard on yourself and criticising yourself for ‘making a mistake’ going to do? None, it’s actually only going to make things worse. Instead, take care of yourself. Get yourself a hot water bottle, put on comfy clothes, make a peppermint tea (or your favourite comfort cuppa), get settled on the couch or in bed with blankets, put on a movie, go for an easy walk, take a warm shower, cuddle your pet… do whatever will make you feel better and safe.
Having a flare-up does not mean you failed. You are only human, you’re going to get stressed, you’re going to eat things that might upset your stomach - and sometimes, you’ll do everything right and still get a flare-up. Our bodies, lives and IBS are unpredictable. Don’t punish yourself for something you can’t control. You’ll recover a lot faster by being kind to yourself, I promise.
The mental impact of IBS
The worst part of IBS, for me, is the impact it has had on my mental health. I have come a long way from where I was when I was first diagnosed, but some days are still hard. I’ve always been a wee bit anxious, especially in social settings. But my IBS and the negative experiences I have had because of it have caused me to have severe anxiety and anxiety attacks. I’m able to better manage my anxiety now, but if I ate something that my gut isn’t a fan of, or I’m stressed or nervous about a particular event (for example, sitting in a classroom), then it takes a lot in me to not run home and hide from the world.
It’s also negatively affected my body image. I’ve been a curvy girl since I was 10 years old, so that wasn’t anything new. But, as I mentioned already, I’m often so bloated that I could pass as being a few months pregnant. Clothes that I used to love wearing suddenly seem to only emphasise my bloated stomach. I have missed some social outings because I was bloated and felt ugly, standing in front of the mirror, trying on different outfits and crying because all I could see was my painfully bloated stomach.
I’m happy to say that I am feeling a lot better about it. Some days are still difficult, but that’s life. Following body positivity accounts and other IBS gals on social media (I strongly recommend following @lottiedrynan and @youvegutthis) has also made me feel more confident.
Having IBS does not make me any less attractive or fun to be around. I am not doomed to be single for the rest of my life just because my bowels are irritable (pun very much intended). So yes, it sucks to have IBS, but it’s not the end of the world. It just means that I sometimes need a bit of extra TLC - and peppermint tea!
Here we have it - just a few months late. I hope I was able to convey some of my thoughts and feelings about IBS without boring you out of your mind. I hope you found this vaguely interesting and helpful.
I must also give a huge thank you to my friends and family without whom I would not be where I am today. My friend, Jane, is the main reason I’ve been able to attend class again. My best friend (or should I say ‘sister from another mister’), Karolina, has been there from the start and always gives me moral support. My family are always asking me whether I can eat something and will make changes to make dishes more suitable for me.
If you struggle with IBS and don’t have anyone around that you feel comfortable talking about it, feel free to reach out. My DMs are always open.
Thanks for sticking with me, gut issues and all. It means the world.
Yours truly,