It’s my birthday! And it’s also 2022 today, so Happy New Year! My birthday is always an interesting day because it’s the start of a new year both in the calendar and in my life. So the feelings most of us get around the start of a new year feels even more intense because I’ve gotten a year older. I’m waffling at this point, so let’s cut to the chase.
I thought it would be fun to do a ‘23 things I learned in 23 years’, because I clearly think I am the wisest person going and have great advice. Maybe I do, maybe I don’t, but either way, I hope you will find some interesting points in today’s post. It’s quite a long one, so grab yourself a cuppa and a snack, and let’s do this!
1. Use a calendar or planner
If you have been reading my blog for a while now, or if you’re lucky enough to know my fabulous self in real life (insert hair flip), you will know I live for my Google Calendar - so, I obviously had to add it to this list. I’ve even convinced some friends to use it and they love it. Here’s an article with Google Calendar hacks I wrote if you want to be convinced as well!
Staying organised is so important, especially when you have things you need to keep track of - which we all do. You can browse the Relatable Sunday shop if you’re on the lookout for handy planners and calendars. Find a way that works for you, whether it’s an online calendar, a paper planner, or a personal assistant, and enjoy life without the stress of forgetting appointments!
2. Open a savings account
While saving up money might seem like a thing for older people, you’re never too young to start putting money aside. I suggest opening a free savings account that you can put extra money in now if you don’t already have one. Having savings is great for many reasons: if you need to make a large purchase (like a new laptop), you’re wanting to buy a house, or in case of emergencies, for example.
If you can, set up small, regular payments into your savings account too. £5, £10 or £20 a month quickly add up. This will ensure that money goes into your savings all year round and not just when you get extra cash for Christmas or your birthday.
3. Get work experience
To finish off the ‘boring adult’ items on this list, getting work experience is super important. We live in a world where more and more people are educated and have degrees, so getting work experience will help you stick out and get more opportunities. As I’m sure you’ve heard before, nothing beats experience. The younger you start getting work experience, the better.
But don’t be discouraged if you haven’t had many opportunities to gain experience. Take this as your sign to find somewhere nearby where you could either shadow someone, do an internship or get a job. Any experience is good experience as you will learn different things in different situations, and you will get transferable skills - the ones that you can use in more than one situation such as communication or time management.
4. Donate to charity and/or become a donor
Donating to charity is a great way to do something positive for your community. Whether you donate money once, set up a regular payment, give away unused items or help out in a centre, you will create a positive impact. There are many charities, so you can choose to support whatever cause you want. Make sure it is a legitimate charity, though, especially if you are donating money online.
You can also choose to become a donor and help people that may need blood, stem cells or organs. There is of course no obligation to do this and it is a very personal decision, but if it is something you would like to do, I strongly recommend looking into it. Make sure to inform your family so they are aware of your wishes.
5. Take photos
While I do not condone the ‘if you didn’t take a photo, it didn’t happen’ trend, I do think having tangible ways to look back on fond memories is good for the soul. Most of us will probably remember physical photo albums from our younger years and know how fun it is to flip through them and look at what we were like as babies or children. Sadly, with the development of digital photography and smartphones, printing photos and sticking them into albums isn’t done as much.
I have had moments, after seeing friends and family or doing a fun activity, where I think to myself, “I wish I had taken a photo of that”. One of my goals for 2022 is definitely to take more photos! Here’s to making many more memories.
6. Spend less time on social media
If years on social media have taught me anything, it’s that what you see is only part of the reality, the tip of the iceberg. It can foster feelings of inadequacy and cause us to negatively compare ourselves to others. While I do find that social media platforms have become better at being more ‘real’, they can still become quite overwhelming and make us spiral into negative thoughts.
Taking regular breaks from social media and setting boundaries for yourself, for example, by taking Sundays off or not checking it after 9pm, is crucial for our mental health. So implement a regular social media detox in your routine!
7. Travel loads
People always say that when you are young is the time to travel and experience the world. While the pandemic has definitely made that more difficult, travelling is great for the soul. Discovering new places. making fond memories and seeing beautiful sights makes us grow as people. You don’t have to go far or spend loads of money to experience this! Check places in your country that you’ve always wanted to visit and start planning a short trip. I promise you won’t regret it.
8. Leave your comfort zone more often
Something important I have learned over the last couple of years is the importance to leave my comfort zone in order to grow. I have often wondered why some people stay stuck in the same job for decades, in a place they hate, with people around them that don’t appreciate them. The reason is often that leaving this situation, which has become their comfort zone, is scarier than the thought of being unhappy for the rest of their lives.
While I agree that it can be scary to do something that is out of the norm for you, it’s also incredibly healthy and builds who you are. Staying in a shit job or toxic relationship just because it’s easier than the alternative, does not make it the right path. While things might not always go according to plan, it’s important to try and learn lessons along the way. If your situation makes you unhappy, only you can change it. No one is going to come in and make things better or make you happier. So start making changes towards your happier future now.
9. Call your friends and family regularly
If this pandemic has made us realise anything, it’s how much we need to see and speak to our loved ones. If your family and friends live nearby, arrange to meet up with them regularly. Go for walks, have dinner together or catch up over a cup of tea. If your loved ones aren’t a short journey away, call them! While not the same as being in a room together, video calls are a great way of connecting us. You never know what might happen tomorrow, as the past 2 years have shown us, so spend time with the people you love - virtually or in person - and let them know how much you appreciate them.
10. Your mental health is so important
I cannot stress this enough. Your mental health is one of, if not the most important aspect of your life. Prioritising it is crucial, which means putting your well-being before anything else - more on that in point number 12. Your mental state will impact everything you do, think and feel - both negatively and positively. If you are struggling, it does not mean you’re a failure, but rather that you are a human being. We all have highs and lows, and sometimes need help to get through the lows.
I really recommend looking into therapy if you think you could benefit from speaking to a professional and getting some guidance. There is also no shame in taking medication - it’s proven to be very effective for a lot of people and the stigma around it is bullshit. I’ve personally benefitted from both therapy and medication in the past when my anxiety was at its worse. And I cannot even begin to tell you how positively it has impacted me and the people around me. Please feel free to get in touch if you want to chat about any of this, my DMs are always open, or you can email me at maeve@relatablesunday.com.
11. Have hobbies
Hobbies are a great way to help you take time out of your schedule to do something you enjoy. There are articles out there saying you should have 5 different hobbies: one to make money, one to keep you fit, one to stay creative, one to build knowledge and one to evolve your mindset. You can find an article with more details about this here. I don’t think the number of hobbies is what’s most important, but rather what they bring to your life.
Take a moment to think about what you enjoy doing. Do you sing to yourself all day? Maybe join a choir. Do you daydream? Try your hand at writing short stories or reading fiction books. Do you doodle during lectures? Use a different medium, such as paint. Do you listen to new music? Try writing music lyrics. Do you enjoy cooking meals from scratch? Attend cooking classes to learn more techniques and recipes. Do you dance around to your favourite songs while cleaning up? Join a dance class. Anything you do on a daily basis could be turned into a hobby. The article I linked in the previous paragraph has plenty of hobby ideas if you need some inspiration!
12. Set boundaries and say no
If you haven’t already, I strongly recommend reading ‘F**k No!’ by Sarah Knight which is a real eye-opener and includes helpful tips to start saying no more. Saying no to things is not about being mean or unhelpful to the people around you, it’s about protecting your energy. There are only so many hours in a day, so the more you say yes to others, the less time you will have for yourself. We need time to recharge our batteries and if we’re always accepting extra shifts at work or helping someone with a large project, our time to rest will be cut down.
Setting boundaries is so important for your well-being and mental health, but it’s not easy - especially if you’re a bit of a people pleaser. Here are some things I found helpful on my journey to saying no more confidently.
13. Celebrate small wins
A lot happens in our lives every day, and we can sometimes get lost in the big picture and forget to celebrate small wins. You know the saying ‘it’s about the journey, not the destination’ - it applies to achievements too. You’ll achieve things while you work towards a bigger goal. You have a 10,000-word essay to write, and you have written 10% today? Celebrate that. You’ve finished a workout that you found really difficult? Even if it wasn’t perfect, celebrate this achievement. You did something that took you out of your comfort zone a bit? Celebrate! No victory is too small, and acknowledging these will help keep you motivated and see how far you’ve come!
14. Be grateful
Gratitude is one of the best things you could ever practice. It helps put things into perspective, lessens negative emotions and can be a great tool for growth. If you know about manifestation, you’ll know gratitude is important as it raises your vibrations - put simply, you feel good so you put out good vibes and, thus, attract good things.
Keeping a gratitude journal and writing down 3 things you’re grateful for every night is a great habit to pick up. Or anytime you’re sitting down for a few minutes, mentally list things that you’re happy to have in your life - this could be anything from a lovely friend to something as mundane as a hot cup of tea!
15. Take care of your body
While we have addressed mental health a few times already, it’s also important to take care of your physical body. Eating nourishing foods and moving your body will really help how you feel. I’m not saying you must go to the gym every day and only eat green foods for the rest of your days. Life is about balance. Making small changes to your daily routine can help you easily incorporate healthy habits - taking the stairs instead of the lift, adding one vegetable to every meal, drinking more water (let’s all get a glass of water right now, we probably need it). Your body will thank you.
16. Trust your gut
You know that feeling you get in your stomach sometimes, when you feel like something isn’t right? That’s your intuition trying to warn you. It’s so important to listen to your gut, to your instincts, and leave potentially dangerous situations. You’ll hear loads of stories of people escaping horrible fates because they listened to their gut.
On a more positive note, your instincts will also tell you when something is right. If you’re having to make an important decision but aren’t sure what path to choose, focus on listening to your gut more and it will guide you in life.
17. Have goals in life
Working towards a goal is great. Most of us will have big goals in life: finish a uni degree, buy a house, start a family, become an entrepreneur, buy a car… These goals will obviously differ from person to person, but it’s good to have something to work towards. It’s easy to get lost in these big goals though, as some seem incredibly far away and hard to achieve. So while setting big goals for yourself, write down smaller goals too.
For example, if getting a university degree is your big goal, your smaller goals could include passing each module, finding a dissertation theme you like, making friends, having interesting conversations… Whatever will help you achieve your big goal, and make the journey easier, will be a small goal, forming the stepping stones towards the end goal.
18. Do things for you
The life you are living is yours. You are the main character of your life and you get to decide where it goes. You will have to make decisions along the way and do plenty of different things - however, it’s important that you do those things because you want to do them. Don’t go to university because your parents expect you to. Don’t stay in the same town because that’s what everyone around you does. Don’t do something you don’t want to do to please someone else. That is just a recipe for disaster and an unhappy life.
Instead, do things that make you happy, that make you smile, that make you feel whole. As long as you are not hurting anyone else (or yourself), do whatever you want with your life! You don’t want to look back on your life and regret not doing something because someone told you not to - or following a path you didn’t want just to make someone else happy.
19. Surround yourself with people that make you better
The people we surround ourselves with say a lot about us. About who we are, what our values are and what we want to achieve in life. Surrounding yourself with the right kind of people is crucial for you to get where you want to be in 5, 10 years. Sometimes, we need to let go of certain people who are not doing us any favours. That toxic friend that’s been belittling you for years? Cut them out. The family member who only has negative things to say about you? Don’t give them the time of day.
Instead, be around people that make you better, that push you to be the best possible version of yourself. Choose who gets to be in your circle wisely. Over the past year, I became friends with people who have changed my life for the better. They support and accept me, just the way I am. I wouldn't be who I am today without the people in my life.
20. Declutter your life regularly
As we go through life, we collect things that quickly start to pile up - in our homes and in our minds. Taking time to declutter your space regularly is crucial to make space for new things. We all know that if we’re very busy and feeling overwhelmed with work or uni, our homes will tend to be messy - reflecting how full our brain is feeling.
Letting go of things that we don’t need anymore helps us feel less overwhelmed because there are fewer things our brain needs to focus on. It’s not always easy to say goodbye to things or people in our lives, but it’s important to do. Before letting something go, take a moment to appreciate what it’s brought to your life, be grateful and then move on.
21. Work on yourself
Working towards becoming a better version of yourself is an ongoing process. There is always something we can work on. There are many different ways to do so, by reading (self-help) books, listening to podcasts, going to therapy, having conversations, etc. This is a very personal journey for everyone, so I can’t tell you exactly what this process will look like for you. I will say this though: look back every once in a while and see how far you’ve come and how much you have changed. You’re doing great.
22. You deserve good things
This is a lesson that I am still working on learning, but you deserve good things. You deserve to laugh, be happy, be surrounded by great people, enjoy life, and be loved. Don’t ever forget that.
23. Love yourself
The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company. Spend time doing things you enjoy, by yourself. Get to know who you are and what makes you who you are. What are your 3 favourite things about yourself? List them in your head right now. If you’re struggling to find things, try understanding what’s holding you back from loving who you are and start working on that. But know that you are always, always, enough and that you are loveable. I think you’re bloody fantastic, and so should you. Be your one cheerleader because you are awesome.
So there we have it, 23 things I have learned. I hope it was enjoyable to read and you got something out of it. This post kickstarts the first day of ‘7 Days of Relatable Sunday’ so I shall speak to you again tomorrow. I do want to wish you all the best for 2022 and know you will achieve great things. I’m rooting for you.
Yours truly,